Roleplay Advices in Gor SL

Here are a few tips for dealing with character roles and avoiding getting your personal feelings and relationships involved in role-playing in Gor’s world. Basically, most of these points cover generic problems, the obvious that are worth remembering, in order to avoid what is most effective in spoiling everyone’s gaming pleasure: arguments and misunderstandings.

1- Your relationship, at stake, is a game

It may not sound like much, but an RL (real life) couple who start playing Gor SL (the role-playing game in Gor’s Second Life world) are going to run into a big problem: there’s a lot of sex and eroticism in there! In fact, it’s a constant that can’t be avoided: if you play in the world of Gor, nudity, eroticism and sex will sooner or later find their way into or around your game. To want to do without it is to want to play only one part of the universe, rejecting the whole of the other, which is interwoven into it.

If you’re playing an RL couple of characters who are bound together, sooner or later you’ll have to face up to this fact; you can’t bury your head in the sand, you have to accept and anticipate it.  So keep it simple: establish safeguards between yourselves that must not be exceeded, limits to what you can tolerate in your in-game couple relationship. When a scene threatens these safeguards, make arrangements with the people you’re playing with to warn them that you’ve reached the limits of what you can accept.

It’s even more important, for an RL couple playing an SL couple or duo, to look after the emotional security and boundaries of both partners! I don’t know how many times I’ve seen RL couples get hurt for having misjudged the impact on their relationship of what can happen in SL role-playing. Yes, it’s a game, but one that touches on intimate things, so it’s best to think about it beforehand.

2- Your character is never you

In a fictional world, bad things are bound to happen to your character, sooner or later. He’ll be trapped, put in danger, hurt, commit a crime or be backed into a corner in one way or another. It may even lead to his demise. But it’s a character, a fictional creation which, even if you’re attached to it, is not you, the player. In short, your character may suffer, his story may go wrong, or end badly, but he’s not you. Maintaining a clear emotional distance between you and your character is a necessity, because when you relinquish that distance, you falsely conclude that it’s you who is suffering or being harmed, and you then react as a player to that harm, because you feel personally attacked. And these reactions always create drama, sometimes irreparable.

Accept that your character may end badly, that he may die, that he may lose everything, that he may come to an end. In role-playing, and this is true in SL, no one kills a character on a whim, and more often than not, a character’s dramatic ending remains a consensual decision. Accept, from the outset, the idea that your character is a creation who can thus disappear and reach the end of his or her story. If this happens, accept that you’ll have to see the story through to the end: it’s a fictional character’s story, not yours.

If you feel you can’t, discuss the situation in OOC with the other players concerned, so as to find an acceptable way out of the situation. And if you really can’t cope, take a break from the game and take a breather.

3- BtB is just a label, not a dogma

BtB is the acronym for “By the book” that often appears when you’re looking for a role-playing sim in the world of Gor. What does it mean? That on these sims, we try to respect the content of the novels as closely as possible, in terms of codes, principles, customs, setting, context, laws, philosophy and even vocabulary!

But that’s no more a guarantee of quality than it is a strict dogma! I’d like to stress that what’s important is to respect the content of Gor’s novels, not their form! Besides, respecting the substance, i.e. the concepts of the ways of thinking and acting of the people of Gor, when playing this kind of role, is more difficult than following the form to the letter, i.e. foolishly imitating the customs, languages and habits of the characters in the novels. And frankly, it’s more fun and more exciting to respect the substance than the form.

In short, BtB is just a label, which says: here we try to remain consistent with Gor’s universe. It doesn’t mean anything else. It’s not a guarantee of quality, just information about the content of the game on the sim that displays BtB. And it’s only a label, which doesn’t mean that it’s going to be very strict or rather flexible in relation to the content of the novels. To find out more, be sure to read the sim rules, where you’ll really know!

4- You can’t punish a kajira for being a kajira

On role-playing sims in Gor’s world, on SL, jealousy and possessiveness on the part of each other – concerning the players, that is, and not the characters – kill far more slaves than their disobedience. It’s just a fact: jealousy and possessiveness, when you’re playing a Gorean character, are only acceptable in a moderate, reasoned way. And it’s totally unacceptable when it comes to players’ feelings and emotions. If you don’t know how to handle these emotions properly, don’t take on a partner who plays a slave (or a Free Woman Companion, for that matter!).

If the kajira is your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse, see point number 1 on this list. In Gor’s world, if a man wants to keep his slave to himself, he chains her up, or locks her up, or puts a chastity belt on her. If she wanders off, and finds herself being used, or a man comes to take her sexually because he wants to, she’s done what she’s supposed to do: not refuse and obey. Punishing her for then being obedient and behaving as a kajira should is like punishing a dog for being wise and sociable. And it’s particularly unpleasant when you’re playing a kajira, to find yourself in this kind of situation, which is nonsense in terms of what kajirae are and should do!

So please think about it and take it into account. Many a drama has been caused by jealousy and possessiveness on the part of players. Remember: no player belongs to you, even if it’s your RL half.

5- A violent man is a brute, an authoritarian man is a master.

The nuance lies in this idea. Whether with his children, his companion or his slaves, a Gorean has no particular reason to be violent. The world is violent enough. His enemies deserve his violence; but his own deserve his just authority.

Basically, punishing by punching, kicking or tearing skin with a whip is violent, useless and dangerous! A Gorean male is a mountain; he can break bones, explode entrails and kill with ease. To strike gratuitously is worse! When a Gorean wants to let off steam, he’ll wrestle with his neighbors and buddies, or drink big mugs. Yes, slaves are described as a way for a Gorean to let off steam too. But a slave is precious, expensive and useful: damaged or wounded, she’s useless and can leave scars. Only brutes do that. And remember, a slave is a player who wants to have fun. Getting beaten up for nothing and taking blows for free is NO fun.

Of course, there are bullies, and the slap that goes off without a second thought, with a black eye in the process, does happen. And much worse. Goreans can be downright cruel, even sadistic: there aren’t many of them, but they do exist, partly because Goreans see nothing sadistic in playing cruelly with a slave who belongs to them, since she’s their property and an object.

But a Gorean man may be sanguine, virile and a little hot-tempered, but he’s never a brute: he avoids hurting, damaging or mutilating unnecessarily. Above all, any punishment or sanction must be commensurate with the offence and must be understood, i.e. either explained or shown.

6- Virility is about showing you’re the protector

In most of the Gorean role-playing sims I’ve come across, there’s always one or two men who attract the women around them. They always have the same profile, whatever the character: they’re self-assured, patient, show a certain tenderness (visible more or less easily) and always remain intransigent and authoritarian. They have protective profiles and, whatever their role, don’t denigrate women, not even slaves. They just see themselves as superior to them, as any average Gorean male would think. They also see themselves as obviously and naturally responsible for protecting them, requiring them to be docile to do so.

So gentlemen, there’s no need to think that your macho character, brutal and contemptuous of women, obnoxious and violent, is going to draw a crowd. Above all, he’s likely to attract enmity, and won’t be liked by guys, chicks or players in general. He’ll generally be seen as a source of trouble, tension and drama. Don’t complain if players run away from you; you’ve created a character that makes them want to run away from you.  Remember: Goreans are far more virile than brutal. Brutality is a necessity when it’s called for. Manliness is the art of being strong, confident and protective. It doesn’t have to be violent or contemptuous.

7- Free women have rights

A free woman can work – and often does work – can own property, can conduct her own personal and financial affairs, and can make her own decisions. Depending on the environment, she will be more or less closely supervised by her family or her entourage, because a woman is considered a bit like a minor these days: more often than not, it’s her family or her Companion who make the big decisions for her.

But a free woman is considered, listened to and respected. She has the right to raise her voice, to yell at a guy – even if it’s a bit risky, these beasts are hot-blooded – and to lodge a complaint if he’s behaved badly towards her. And you can’t force her to obey, or enslave her, or punish her, just because you feel like it: only the head of her family or her partner have that power. In general, any woman of a home stone (city) has absolutely nothing to fear from the men of her home stone, as long as she keeps her place, and if she doesn’t, she’ll be judged by a council of her peers! The same goes for men.

The law tends to be on the side of men in Gor’s world, but no, they don’t have all the power at all. And a man would rather not antagonize women, just because it would complicate his life, his relationships, his honor and his chances of having, or starting, a family.

8- Never compromise, never renegotiate

When a Gorean, whether male or female, has said “no”, he hasn’t said maybe, or later. When you’re a Gorean, you don’t go back on your decisions or your word. Which means that a Gorean never makes decisions lightly, and when he does the stupid thing anyway, he has to accept all the consequences. To hesitate, renegotiate or compromise is to be weak… and it’s a bad plan, a good way to sully one’s honor, and honor is vital for a gorean.

On this point, women and men are the same: their word, their honor and their pride are at stake. This doesn’t mean that couples can’t have discussions and negotiations on the sly, or make discreet arrangements after a decision has been taken a little too abruptly. But Goreans avoid having to reconsider or compromise their decisions as much as possible.

It also means that a Gorean, when faced with a risk, will confront it, rather than flee or procrastinate. And even more so if the risk is posed by a woman. It’s inconceivable for a Gorean to show that he’s genuinely afraid of a woman… even if he has every reason to think it would be more prudent!

9- You play a slave, not a princess

And there are plenty of players who make this confusion! In Gor’s world, a woman is nothing the second she is enslaved, loses her name, her freedom and wears the collar. She no longer owns anything, has no family ties because she’s been disowned by her family; even her ex-friends turn their backs on her. She’s a slave, only what her owner decides she should be; she belongs to him, like an object. But she’ll only be what the other free goreans want her to be! It’s not for nothing that a slave is broken, starved and exhausted, to show her the extent of the hopelessness of her condition, and that the only way out is to be totally docile and obedient to men. To all free people, in fact, and not just to his master.

So, behaving in a totally capricious, disobedient or obnoxious way, demanding, refusing, are almost unthinkable for a slave. Some do, and take the risk. But this risk can end in the worst punishment, or death. Once you play a slave, the risk is as simple as that: anyone can give you an order and punish you, not just your owner. You could very well be injured or killed, and the only thing you risk is having to compensate your owner.

So I’d like to remind all players who play as a kajira that being shaken, manhandled and abused is inevitable. I don’t like it when it’s free. But if you’re playing a princess, and not a slave, you’re bound to get into trouble, which will simply spoil the fun for you and others, and create conflict and drama; so you might as well avoid it.

10- Assume the consequences

What follows ties in with point 2 above: in the course of your adventures and your role-playing in the world of Gor, things will happen to your character, and you’ll have to accept that this is the case. And why? Because for everyone to have fun, everyone has to accept the consequences of each other’s actions, and their own responsibilities, even if your character’s fate suddenly takes a dramatic turn.

To sum up, while I’m all for specifying your character’s limits, there are some personal choices and arbitrations that go against assuming the common consequences of anything that can happen in role-playing on a Gorean sim: no death, no nudity, no necklaces, no mutilation, no hair-cutting, are surely the most striking. I can understand why you wouldn’t want your character to end up so badly. But when it comes to dealing with and accepting consequences, everything is moot. Refusing to assume them, with this kind of limit that forbids any consequences, means saying: I don’t want to assume what could go wrong for my character, even if I have a responsibility for it, as a result of my own actions and decisions in the game.

And above all, if these limits apply to the person who wrote them, why shouldn’t they apply to the players he plays with? It’s the very essence of fair play: don’t do to me what you don’t want me to do to you. Which means that whatever happens in-game, there are no consequences for anyone! What fun can be had in stories that can never have twists and turns and significant consequences for player characters, hm?

So, even though this may indeed put your character in perilous situations, or even risk signing his or her end, forget these strict limits; accept to assume the consequences of plots, stories, your decisions, and those of others. Play the game. Keep limits as things that have to be negotiated: nobody can decide your character’s fate for you. But accepting that sometimes that fate may not be the one you like, means accepting that others will also have to assume the same thing, and enriching the pleasure of having fun, being surprised, and seeing real complex stories and real stakes being born out of playing together!