My last article? I don’t know.

Will this be my last message on this blog? My last article? I don’t know, but it’s heading that way (even if, yes, I would really like to avoid that…).

Yesterday, on Gor Second Life, while I was playing Kara and having a good time with Lyra in roleplay for the first time in a very long time, an anonymous person, totally unknown to me, threw in the last straw. This person did not even commit a serious, aggressive or insulting act. No, this person was just arbitrarily sectarian and banally contemptuous. Obviously, my outfit was a problem for this person, and the fact that I wrote the word “biohazard” in an emote to describe a medical bin for biological waste was another problem (“Biohazard is Gor Evolved!”). And to add contempt to sectarian judgment, this person did not come to complain to me, who was indeed present, didn’t he, but to Lyra.

So, there you have it: I am currently disgusted with Gor Second Life. It was the last straw. I very often have to deal with people coming to explain to me, or rather to hammer home with bigotry what is “Gorean or not”. Some of these people, aggressive and hateful, regularly harass me for the simple fact that I write the Gorean Archives articles, which are all based on the contents of the novels and are full of references to support their content. People who also hate me because I have no shame in stating that, yes, I am progressive, humanist, feminist (the ultimate crime for some) but also a transgender woman and a lesbian. Not to mention the people who hate the fact that my articles prove them wrong. And people I don’t know, anonymous people who are convinced that they are right and that I am wrong, and “shut up, you’re a slave.”

My work on Gorean Archives is the result of a dual passion. On the one hand, despite my criticism of the literary quality and ideological content of John Norman’s novels, and of the character himself, I sincerely adore Gor. On the other hand, as a novelist, but also as a practitioner and professional author of tabletop role-playing games, I love working on the description of universes to make them credible and exciting to discover.

But this passion comes at a cost: harassment by email, on Second Life, hacking and DDoS attempts on the Gorean Archives website, threats, not to mention slander campaigns on Second Life and lots of people who have blocked me. And to that, I have to add what I call bad encounters. I’m talking about obnoxious players, especially men, for whom Gor is a playground to flaunt their toxic masculinity or their frustration with a real world where they are not all-powerful at all, and whose only pleasure is to torment others. But also gatekeeper players who impose their sectarian certainty on Gor Second Life and cannot stand anything that does not correspond to their narrow perception of the Gor universe. Where a reasonable individual would discuss with sincerity and courtesy to tactfully resolve what they think is a problem, or would politely ignore the person causing the problem, these sectarian players are just banally contemptuous, aggressive and completely convinced of their own righteousness, without any consideration for the consequences of their behavior, delivered without empathy.

I should just ignore it all and not worry about it, right? But I can’t anymore. I’ve had to take another four-week break from roleplaying on Gor to get better and regain my appetite for gaming. I have health problems that have a strong impact on my morale and Lyra, my accomplice and playmate, could hardly do any roleplay either because of her work. I have therefore been weakened by an accumulation of RL but also IC worries, but I have been trying to play again for a few days. Starting Kara’s life on a new sim, I am a little lost and hesitant, as always, because I am introverted by nature, and, as you will easily understand, quite distrustful and fearful now.

First roleplay moment with Kara, first problem. One too many for me; I’m exhausted from these bullshits and the exact term is: disgusted. So, what am I going to do? Second Life Gor is my outlet, my refuge and one of my few social activities, but at the moment it seems more like a foil that causes stress and anxiety, where I have to expect the worst every second, than the refuge that I cherish so much and where I can play Kara by expressing part of myself peacefully and passionately with complete freedom. So, yes, right now, I dread going online, I dread even more coming to a Gorian roleplay sim and I dread more than anything trying to socialize while playing Kara and my role as a Kajira of Gor.

I have European hours, which prevent me from being able to play in the evening at American time (6 p.m. SLT, for me, is 3 a.m.) and which limit my interactions in roleplay; I am, like the majority of players who play slaves, ignored most of the time, which is NOT normal, and NO, it is not the role of a slave, you forget that behind the scenes there are players who would like to have fun themselves; and finally, my rare recent interactions in roleplay… well, read above, I don’t think I need to say anything more.

So that’s where I am, and I don’t have a solution right now. No, I can’t ignore all this anymore, no, I can’t put up with it anymore, I don’t have the moral resources, and I am deeply disappointed, hurt and saddened by… oh, it’s only a minority of players. But they are the ones I come across all the time, and they are the ones who cause the most damage around them, and always cause more players to leave and players who abandon Gor in the face of such behavior. I am just another victim, the only difference is that I am less anonymous than the others.